Seroquel (quetiapine) is an antipsychotic/ psychotropic agent used in the treatment of both Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia. Im sure it's used off-label for other stuff too. But anyway. I have a true, bona fide love/ hate relationship with this drug.

When Dr M first handed me the prescription, i was wary. I knew he was eager to replace my old antipsychotic (risperidone), which had been responsible for me ending up on a psychiatric ward for 4 days, but i was not so eager. My terrifying experiences on risperidone had kinda turned me off antipsychotic medication and i was quite happy the way i was (well, i *was* manic!). Dr M, however, had other plans. He didnt like running me as high as i was, and he was determined to bring my manias back down to normality again, so he upped my carbamazepine and put me on quetiapine at night.

I took the recommended 50mg dose, one in the morning and one in the evening, the next day. I was on my ass by 8:30pm, barely able to hold my eyes open. For the first time in, well EVER, that night i actually slept. I had managed sleep before, by taking Ambien or Lunesta, or by drinking vast amounts of alcohol, and during depressive episodes i slept pretty well, but erratically and usually during the day. Going to bed at a normal hour, going to sleep on time and being able to get up during the night to pee or whatever, and actually GO BACK TO SLEEP, well that was huge. Bigger than huge. I nearly cried with relief the next day.

I was soon to learn, however, that Seroquel has its dark side. It builds up in the system so that those first, refreshing, few days were soon a thing of the past. During my next depressive episode i learned that i couldnt take Seroquel in the mornings any more lest i spent the whole day staring at a wall. Despite being a little manic now, i still havent been able to go back to taking it in the mornings, because it leaves me feeling drugged and sleepy when i get up. Give me a couple of hours, about a gallon of coffee or diet coke and a bath or shower and im usually functioning pretty well, and the thought of adding to that drugged feeling just makes me feel ill. I do take it if i feel im going too high (or lets be honest here, if Josh thinks im going too high and tells me!), but not often. And that's just 25mg a day! I shudder to think what it does to people who take like 400mg a day!

You cant drink on Seroquel because it can do some nasty shit to your body, your liver in particular. Not even one glass of wine. So, if i have a drink, i cant take that evening's dose. Sadly this means i'd better not have just had one glass, i'd better be paralytic, because otherwise i wont sleep at all! 

So, rather like Bipolar Disorder itself, Seroquel has its up's and downs... overall, though, i like it. It's not a sleeping pill, so all it does is make me drowsy enough to sleep, and it almost simulates for me what it would be like to go to sleep normally, and that's got to be a blessing. Even if i am bumping into walls the next day...